The ‘Coming Out’ for a Pakistani
Coming out: verb. To declare oneself publicly.
To reveal that one is a gay man, a lesbian, or a bisexual.
For a regular Pakistani youngster the internet is the major source of all kinds of knowledge and happenings around the world. Same goes when a young gay Pakistani approaches the internet with his major life problem about being a homosexual. As the internet is dominated by content from western countries almost all the websites about being gay encourage you to ‘come out of the closet’ and tell the whole world you are gay and be yourself. This is great advice but only if you are living in a free country where laws and legislation are strict and there aren’t any religious fanatics going around running their own rule.
In Pakistan things are different. We are not going to be appreciated even by the most educated people if we be who we are in public. Moreover we also run a great risk of being harmed. It doesn’t matter if you are a boy or a girl. The risk is almost the same.
I’m not telling you to remain in the closet forever and live double lives. What I’m saying is that first you have to make yourself stable enough to handle the risk. You really have to do some serious thinking before taking this step. You have to consider your family situations and how they will react to this. You have to be prepared for the outcome.
If you do decide to come out to your family then you can face one of the following scenario’s:
- Yayyy we are so happy our child is gay.
- Ya Allah Have mercy . May Allah guide you to the right path (followed by astaghfaars and tauba’s).
- Don’t ever say such a thing again.
- Oh kids say the darnest things nowadays. Don’t worry you will grow out of this phase (this will happen to you mostly If you are a teen).
- Noooooo it’s the devil incarnate.
- Kill it.
These were a few examples out of hundreds of different situations but please consider each and every one of them and have a backup plan.
The most sensible thing to do is that you should make yourself stable first and the only way to do that is to focus on your studies. You get great opportunities to go abroad and get good jobs if you have good grades. Once you are stable enough people will look up to you and be more accepting of you. Money is power and in Pakistan if you are rich……well you get the point.
But either way education is important for everyone. At the end everyone is the best judge of their situation and only you know best when to come out as gay or even if you should come out.
Editor’s note: We don’t advocate coming out and being openly gay in a society like Pakistan, however we do emphasize the importance of coming out to yourself. It’s extremely important that you come to terms to your sexuality and know who you really are. We’ll post more on the subject in the coming days.